5 Things to Tell Your Child’s Doctor About Their Pain

You wait for months to see your child’s doctor. The day finally comes, you take time off of work, pull your child out of school, wait in the exam room… a while later, you’re walking out, thinking, “what just happened?” And “are we better off than before?.”

Treating pain is complicated. Medical providers, health care professionals, and families alike must navigate many challenges to understanding and treating pediatric chronic pain. You have many questions, they want to help but have little time. We know that healthcare costs are rising, and that families are more strapped than ever. You don’t want to wait to get the best answers for your child. 

To make the most of your child’s next medical visit, here are…

5 things to prepare to share with your child’s doctor

as recommended by a pediatric pain psychologist:

1) When the pain started and how it has changed since - the doctor’s will want to know approximately when it began, and if something was happening around that time (e.g. injury, illness, or other life events). They will also want to zoom out to the big picture and learn how it has changed since it started- did it become more frequent or more intense? 

Why: To be able to provide an accurate diagnosis, determine if further testing is needed, and be able to consider any “red flags” for urgent and serious medical concerns. 

2) How does your child describe the pain- this is difficult for some children and teens. Sometimes, it’s hard to remember when it’s not happening at the moment. Other times, the words seem to abstract- what does pounding vs pulsing really mean? Try out some analogies to see if they fit, so that you are prepared to share this information. Some examples: like a hammer, like a rubber band that is squeezing, like someone is hitting from the inside, like it’s hot and on fire, like tingles or pricks. 

Why: Your doctor is likely continuing to refine their diagnosis and understand the mechanism of pain. This can be helpful for selection of possible pharmacological treatment. 

3) Where does your child hurt- if you are seeing a doctor about a particular location of pain (e.g. headache, leg pain), your doctor may be so focused on that specific issue that they may not ask about pain anywhere else in the body. 

Why: Telling your doctor if your child has also mentioned pain in another location in their body recently or frequently can clue your doctor in that there may be a more central process of pain occurring, which may affect diagnosis and treatment recommendations.

4) How pain is affecting your child’s life: Are they missing school, holding back in sports, or becoming more anxious or down? Is this all the family talks about? 

Why: Rating pain on a 0-10 or faces scale can be subjective. One child’s 5 may be another child’s 9. However, you can tell your child’s doctor about any patterns or changes you have observed. Even more than that, it can be really useful to tell your child’s doctor about how your unique child’s pain affects their unique life.

5) Your expectations for pain management. What is your definition of progress or success? Is there more than one way to consider this? 

Why: We often assume that we share expectations, but articulating what you expect can open up a thoughtful discussion and help you and your healthcare provider be on the same page. If you want more food for thought about setting goals and expectations, try this article next.

BONUS QUESTION:

6) What else might help my child? If you’re reading this, you’re probably the type to do a lot of research. With so much uncertainty around pain and its treatment, you probably have spent your fair share of time on the internet or asking around about what might help. Your doctor may have some ideas about not just different medications or procedures, but also complementary resources that may be able to help with your child’s symptoms and functioning. If you are interested in building your child’s pain team and curious about pain psychology, click the Get Started button at the top right of your screen to request a free consultation call with Dr. Emily Foxen-Craft.