Planning for the Holidays with Anxiety or Chronic Illness
Joy and Challenges of Holidays
Happy holidays! Most of us are fortunate to look forward to holidays. Whether it’s family traditions, religious significance, or just time off from work or school, there is often something to anticipate with joy.
But… there’s also a lot of stress. Parents need to manage hectic schedules, add financial commitments, and balance activities and commitments. For children and young adults with chronic pain, chronic illness, or behavioral health concerns, even more situations may arise that might cause stress.
How can we anticipate the holidays with calmness and joy?
This may not be a comprehensive list, but here are some top stressors around the holidays. Considering them in advance, in addition to some ideas, may help create a sense of ease and preparedness for the days and weeks ahead.
Getting there: The road trip or flight
Traveling is stressful enough for everyone, so add in anxiety or a chronic condition, and things can get difficult fast.
Take some time to consider this in advance, rather than relying on the default plan. Is there any wiggle room for making adjustments to start and wrap up your trip with more ease and comfort? Consider these possible ideas:
Can you plan some rest stops to move and stretch? Changing the seat position intermittently can also be helpful to prevent stiffness and soreness.
Can you leave earlier, so that you feel less rushed?
Can you plan a variety of activities, including some solo and some as a family, for the duration of the trip?
Could you plan for snacks and good hydration for everyone during the trip?
Then, make sure you discuss this as a family, so that everyone has a voice in this pivotal part of the journey.
Once you get there: The family questions
Whether visible or not, your extended family may have some questions about you or your child’s physical or mental health. They may or may not ask these questions in a way that seems sensitive and compassionate.
You know your families the best, so try to anticipate what some of those questions may be. Then, come up with a family plan that aligns with your preferences and values. For instance, do you want to deflect, or come up with a scripted answer? Do you want to prevent some questions by calling in advance? Will your child speak up for themselves, or will you answer for them? While we cannot anticipate everything, some forethought may ease some stress in anticipation of these conversations and some possible tense moments.
Activities and Schedule
Holidays and vacations are so rare, that sometimes we are tempted to cram in as much as possible into a short period of time. We also may rely on tradition, such as, “well we always go ice skating after a trip to the holiday market.”
However, doing too much without rest can be taxing to our physical, social, and emotional batteries. Be sensitive to the fact that many individuals, children and adults alike, may need more time to recharge. Building in breaks throughout the day can add so much calmness and peace, which is often what we are looking for on vacation anyway! This can include physical rest, time alone, or activities that foster calmness. Perhaps you and your family can categorize which activities feel most essential, and which feel more optional, to guide family expectations.
Finally: The Food
Management of many chronic conditions relies on dietary modifications. You might be used to making these changes at home, but what about special meals or if you are being hosted by another family?
Discuss these concerns with your child or family, and if possible, your host, in advance. Hosts often appreciate a heads up about dietary needs rather than being surprised on the day of an event. Focus on inclusivity, especially for special or traditional elements of a meal. Bringing alternative dishes that are safe, focusing on favorite components of a meal, can go a long way. If your child has a serious food allergy, it is a good time to review communication and emergency action plans.
Often, though, we realize that food traditions may not hold as much importance as we initially think. This is a great opportunity to be open-minded about what “has to be” and what your priorities actually are as a family. Maybe it’s time to try a new food tradition!
Traditions and Quality Time
Ask yourself, what is most important about this holiday or vacation? If nothing else, how do we want to feel or what do we want to experience? Often, we realize that certain activities or traditions are less important than feelings of togetherness, appreciation, or a sense of connection to something meaningful. Let’s see what we can let go of, and make sure that our choices about travel, relationships, communication, schedule, and food align with what is most important about the season.
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to holidays, just like there is no one like yourself, child, and family! Sometimes, it can be helpful to talk out your unique challenges and values with someone compassionate but objective. If the holidays are stressing you and your child out, please don’t hesitate to reach out now for immediate consultation. You can call (734) 221-0874 or click right here!